Today We would like you to tell the story which happened once at the court of King Philip IV of Spain in 1656.
The genius painter Diego Velazquez prepared a huge easel, his palette, and brushes to create Our portrait to please the king and his wife, Mariana of Austria (to be seen in the mirror on the wall inside the painting).
Local V.I.P. persons came to pose with Us: two dwarfs, Maria Barbola and Nicolas Pertusato, a huge mastiff (better not to remind his name!), Don José Nieto Velázquez, the head of the royal tapestry works, (to be seen at the back door).
Las Meninas, 2 maids of honor, doña Isabel de Velasco and doña María Agustina Sarmiento de Sotomayor, brought a luxurious little dress with them.
That seemed to Us rather suspicious, and We appeared to be right: the noble ladies decided to make Us wear the dress!
“Oh you cute kitty, please put it on”
“Here we are, you put you sweet little paw here, and other there…”
“Izzy, do you think it is a bit narrow?”
“OMG, Mary, I think the kitty ate too many shrimps last time!”
“What shall we do, Izzy? Their majesties will arrive in a minute!”
“Come on Mary, I am not going to close it at the back, but I will just hold it by the collar and nobody will notice!”
The door opens and the royal couple arrives: “Oh you little furball, look at this little infanta, so pretty, you are a good girl!”
The Queen takes Our photo with Her Royal iPhone, which you may notice by her reflection in the mirror
Being a professional meowdel, We kindly tolerated all this torture until Her Majesty took a snapshot and posted it on the royal Instagram.
But all that time We thought in a very loud voice:
“OMG, please stop it, I AM A BOY!!!”
The ceiling cat heard Our prayers and came to watch Us wearing infanta’s dress. He checked in the ventilation hole and left positive feedback, marking Our outstanding grace.
In opposite, the huge mastiff was not impressed at all and made a snoutpalm gesture. We didn’t care: it’s a sign of an artist’s skill to split the emotions of the audience
But nobody expected the Spanish inquisition who arrived SUDDENLY and demanded that the cat should be painted over because he was too fat!
At that time there was no campaign for natural beauty, and the great master just obeyed and painted a pale thin infanta instead of Us!
Look what we have now at the Prado museum:
Where is the drama of gender identity?
Where is the drama of the struggle between the love for S-size luxurious outfits and the constant hunger and shrimps addiction?
The cat makes every painting more trustworthy!
Thus speaks Zarathustra the Cat