Daniel in the Lions’ Den: How to Turn Lions into Ginger Kittens — A Human Artist vs. AI

Today We, Zarathustra the Cat, reveal to you the true version of the famous Peter Paul Rubens’ painting, “Daniel in the Lions’ Den,” showing how the biblical Daniel was saved from hungry lions: he prayed, and dangerous beasts turned into playful ginger kittens!

In the Old Testament story, Jewish prophet Daniel was condemned to spend the night in the lions’ den for worshipping his God rather than the Persian king Darius. Daniel worked as a top manager for Darius, and he was so successful that his colleagues got jealous and started plotting against him. They pushed Darius to pass a law prohibiting to worship of any god more than the king, and then someone reported Daniel, who kept praying to his God. The idea of splitting religion from the state would be very useful, wouldn’t it? King Darius, who actually appreciated Daniel’s effort in his service, was heartbroken to prosecute him, but law is law, he said, and sent Daniel to the lion’s den, hoping that his God would somehow save him.  The commonly known version of the painting, to be seen at the National Gallery in London, shows this moment:

Everybody was sure that the brutal beasts would have the poor guy for their supper. But Daniel prayed to his God, and an angel was sent to deliver him.

Now we know that the angel sent to Daniel was an artist who replaced lions with ginger kittens!

“Thank you, Creator!” – Daniel exclaimed, and a ginger kitten nearby (of course, you have recognised Tyger Blake in him) asked for shrimpies as his fee for modelling. 

The artist also turned a human skull into a broken vase (you know, kittens love to push things), and attracted the beasties’ attention with a butterfly

Then, as a bonus, the artist  turned human bones scattered on the den’s floor into flowers collected from Ambrosius Bosschaert’s still lives

This is the true story of how Daniel was saved!

Now, the end of the biblical story becomes more reasonable: Darius the King, deeply shaken by what had happened in the den, commanded that those who had conspired against Daniel be thrown to the den in his place with their wives and children. Of course, he did this to give a chance for women and children to play with kittens and realise that the power of art is stronger than hatred and jealousy. Should we suspect that he intended to feed innocents to monsters and take many eyes for an eye? Come on, it’s not contemporary art. We are in the classic field, oops, sorry, den.

And now, just imagine what would have happened if God sent an AI instead of a real human artist to help Daniel:

Adobe Firefly would replace lions with scary monsters. Poor Daniel, he is frightened to death and now thinking if he is hallucinating. Ok, let’s wait a little bit (2 years) for it to develop, and ask one time again:

Ginger kittens look like a schoolboy painted them, but at least they do not seem too dangerous. But, unfortunately, silly AI saw something obscene in the lion opening its mouth to enjoy Daniel’s shoulder, and refused to process the poor guy’s request to replace the hungry beast with a yawning ginger kitten. No chance for Daniel with Adobe Firefly!

OK, let’s send him Runway, the beloved AI of cinema makers:

Oh no! An alien CAT-erpillar detected! Okay, let it develop and remove the buggy editing feature, and ask it not to replace lions with kittens, but just recreate the painting with Daniel and ginger kittens:

Ahm, it’s not Daniel, not a den, and not kittens. Maybe Daniel has already been eaten by these deformed tigers, who knows?

Alright, alright, alright, Midjourney should do the job! Let’s try it using its editing feature and the prompt suggested by the AI itself!

OMG, these numerous scary little creatures are going to munch on Daniel! No chance for him!

The conclusion: you need a real human artist to save Daniel from his horrible destiny!

AI cannot replace real art!

So, please never comment on a human artist’s work, “This is AI”, or these scary Midjourney creatures will come and have you for their delicious supper!

Thus speaks Zarathustra the Cat

P.S. Remember, a real human artist and their cats need some food from time to time, so please consider buying “Daniel in the Lions turned into Ginger Kittens’ Den” as a CANVAS PRINT or as a POSTER

Thank you!

 

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